The Way I Loved You
by dawnrene
Summary: Bella and Edward remember their tumultuous relationship. When they meet again, will time have healed all wounds? Based on Taylor Swift song of same name. Rated M for language and sexuality. Please read and review!
1. The Way I Loved You

_So I had this idea for a one-shot and here it is. I'm thinking about continuing it and making it a full story, but only if people seem to like it. And while I'm normally not one to beg for reviews, the only way I know if people like it is if people review. So if you like it, please take the time to review._

_I should warn you: It is angsty, Edward's a bit darker and fucked up than normal, and it's my first Lemon, so please be nice._

_If I do continue and make it a full story, no promises on a happy ending, though that would be my intention._

**DISCLAIMER: "Twilight" and all it's characters belong to S. Meyer. **

* * *

I looked at the handsome man sitting across from me, his eyes studying mine. I smiled shyly; his intense gaze always made me self-conscious. He smiled as he took my hand in his, the softness of his warm skin a comfort to my cold one.

"You look beautiful tonight, Bella," he complimented me, never taking his eyes off of mine so I could see the sincerity in his words. I felt a blush creep up my neck; I never was good with compliments.

"Thank you, Jacob," I said in a soft voice, not wanting to disturb the other diners around us.

I had been dating Jacob Black for three months now. He was an extremely handsome, 30-year-old stockbroker on Wall Street. He was remarkably successful, so tonight's dinner at the Rainbow Room in Midtown was no surprise to me. He constantly took me to the finest restaurants, bought me the most expensive clothes, and chauffeured me around in the nicest cars. To say my friends were jealous was an understatement.

"You really lucked out Bella," Rosalie told me the first time she met him. "He's wonderful."

"Imagine having all the designer clothes you could ever want!" Alice squealed. I smiled and rolled my eyes. Like I cared about designer clothes. "I really like him," she added, hugging me.

I really liked him, too. That was the problem. I _liked_ him, nothing more. I was always "fine" when I was around him, nothing more. I longed to have the passionate relationship I had once had. The screaming, fighting, cursing, fabulously unconventional relationship I had had before. When I could think of nothing but his unruly bronze hair or his vibrant green eyes or the way he kissed me… _Stop thinking like that Bella_, I admonished myself. _Now is neither the time nor the place_.

Jacob cleared his throat, bringing me back to present. He smiled when I met his eyes. "Are you okay? You seemed like you were a million miles away." I shook my head to clear the thoughts.

"Sorry. Just thinking about an assignment at work." He nodded understandingly. As a journalist, he knew my head could be in the clouds when I had a big deadline coming up.

Jacob nodded his head at the waiter for our check. "Let's get you home then. I know you have a deadline." A small smile ghosted over my lips. He was always so considerate. After settling the bill, he stood up and offered his hand to me. I took it, allowing him to help me out of my chair, and followed him out of the restaurant to the parking garage he had left the car in. We walked in comfortable silence, our hands entwined.

When we reached the car, he opened my door without hesitation, just as he always did. The first time he opened my door for me, I had looked at him as if he had sprouted a second head. No one had ever opened my doors for me. Now I knew it was just the way Jacob was, and I let it be.

The ride home was quiet, my mind in a million different places as I attempted not to think about my last relationship. It was a common practice for me, part of why I kept myself so busy: if I had too many things to occupy my time, I wouldn't think of the one person I so desperately wanted to think of.

We pulled up to the apartment building where I rented a small studio. Jacob frowned at the dilapidated building, but didn't say anything. He knew how I felt about the beloved apartment I had inhabited since college. Even though I could afford a nicer place, I had memories here that I didn't want to tarnish.

"Thank you for tonight, Jacob. I had a great time." I looked over at his profile, awash in the orange glow from the streetlight. He smiled.

"My pleasure as always, Bella. Have a good evening." He pressed his lips gently to mine, never seeking to deepen the kiss. "Good night, sweet one."

He watched me make my way into my building, and when I turned and waved at him, he drove off. I sighed in relief. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy his company, because I did. I just grew tired of pushing past memories out of my mind every time we were together. And though I never meant too, I was constantly comparing him to Edward.

_Edward_. Now that I had allowed myself to think his name, the floodgates opened and a rush of memories hit me. It was at times like these that I wished fervently for amnesia.

I knew that in comparing the two, Jacob should win, hands down. But I never seemed to be able to tip the scales in his favor.

I let myself into my apartment, setting my purse on the floor and hanging up my coat. I checked my answering machine-no messages. I went through my evening routine—brushing my teeth, washing my make-up off, throwing my hair into a messy ponytail. Once done with that and in my sweats, I sat back on my bed with my laptop, intending to write my column. After 20 minutes of staring blankly at the screen, I gave up, closing my laptop and settling back against my pillows.

I closed my eyes and allowed myself to remember.

***

_"Bella, where the hell are my shoes?" Edward's voice called from my bedroom. _

_"Check under the bed!" I called back, smiling as I turned the coffeepot on. They had most likely gotten kicked under there during last night's activities. I turned when I heard Edward's footsteps behind me. "Did you find them?" A quick glance at his feet gave me my answer: they had, indeed, been under the bed. I grinned at him, pulling myself up on my toes to kiss him. "What would you do without me?" I teased, running my hands through his hair. He laughed against my mouth._

_"Run around barefoot." I screamed as he grabbed my hips, swinging me around so that my back was to the wall as his tongue swept over my lips. I opened my mouth, allowing his tongue access, and he immediately began to massage my tongue with his own. I groaned into his mouth as his hands ran up my body, stopping on my chest that was covered only by a silk bathrobe. With one quick yank, the ties of the robe were undone, and the silky material was falling to the floor._

_"Edward," I panted as he placed open-mouthed kisses on my neck, working his way down. "Baby, you're going to be late for work." Even as I said the words, his hot mouth found my nipple and he pulled it into his mouth. I gasped and fisted my hands into his hair, pressing him closer to me. He toyed with it, licking softly, then biting gently and sucking it into his mouth. He did this over and over again, lavishing all his attention onto the task at hand. _

_His hand roamed over to my free breast, palming it, then taking his fingers and pinching my nipple lightly. I hitched my leg up around his waist, reveling in the feel of his free hand digging into my thigh. He lifted his head from my chest and looked at me with hooded eyes._

_"Fuck work." I nodded, knowing that I would be late too, but not caring. All that mattered was Edward's mouth on mine, his hands roaming freely on my body. He continued to attack my lips as his hand slid down my body to my wetness, circling my clit lightly with his finger. I jumped at the sudden contact, pressing my body flush against Edward's as I fought with the buttons on his collared shirt. I growled in frustration when the buttons refused to come undone, my mind clouded in the fabulous torment Edward was inflicting on me. Finally, the shirt was open, and I pushed it off his shoulders and onto the floor, running my hands over his perfectly sculpted chest. He groaned into my mouth as I ran my hands up and over his chiseled abs to his back, where I pressed my hands against him and pulled him to me roughly. _

_His finger was still circling my clit, his pressure increasing as he heard my breaths start to come faster. He slid two fingers into my throbbing pussy, pushing them in and out while curling his fingers inward. I rode his hand, his ministrations becoming faster as he pulled his lips from mine. I groaned at the loss of contact, but with an impish smile he quickly lowered himself beneath me and gently licked my opening. A surge of white-hot lust went though me, and I placed my foot on his shoulder to give him better access. His tongue joined his fingers in thrusting in and out, faster and faster until I couldn't take it any longer._

_"I'm going to cum," I panted right before my orgasm overtook me, screaming at the sweet release as it racked through my body. Edward never removed his lips from their position, continuing to suck and prolonging my orgasm. I was shuddering from the sheer force of it when he gently removed my foot from his shoulder and placed it back on the ground. He enveloped me in his arms, kissing my head gently as he held me._

_"Good morning to you too," I mumbled into his shoulder, enjoying the vibrations his body made as he laughed. _

_"I have to work late tonight, but is it okay if I come by afterwards?" He asked as he retrieved his shirt from the floor and began to button it. _

_"You have to ask?" I smiled. His smirk gave me his answer. He grabbed his briefcase and gave me another kiss, this one chaste so as not to make us any later than we already were._

_"I'll see you tonight." I nodded, closing the door behind him with a wide grin on my face._

***

I was jarred from my memory by my cell phone vibrating on the bedside table. A quick look at the caller ID told me it was Alice. I flipped it open as I pushed back the flood.

"What up, Al?" I greeted her.

"Just calling to see how your date went tonight," she chirped on the other end.

"It was good. He took me for an early dinner at the Rainbow Room, then brought me back so I could work on my column. My deadline's in two days." I didn't want her to know about my trip down memory lane, but my tone betrayed me.

"Bella, what were you doing when I called?" She asked suspiciously. I blushed, even though no one was there to see me.

"Working on my column. I told you," I answered defensively. _Way to go Bella. Getting defensive is a guaranteed tip-off._

"Why don't I believe you?"

"I don't know, Alice. Why don't you?" I was desperately trying to stall her, to get her mind in another direction.

"You were thinking about Edward again, weren't you?" She accused, her tone brooking no room for denial. I sighed in defeat.

"Yes." I heard her growl in frustration.

"How many times have we been through this, Bella? He was no good for you. How many times did you call me in the middle of the night crying because you two had had _another_ fight? How many times did he storm out of your apartment at 4 AM because he was having one of his jealous fits? Bella, you are so much better off without him, and I

don't know why you can't see that."

"I don't know!" I exploded, tears running freely down my cheeks. "I know I'm better off without him Alice, but I loved him. _Love_ him," I corrected quickly. "And Jacob's wonderful and kind, but he's not Edward," I whispered sadly, knowing how pathetic I sounded. I expected Alice to reprimand me, but she surprised me.

"I know, honey," she sympathized. "I know how much you loved Edward, but my God Bella, it's been two years! I'm sure he's moved on; so should you!" The thought of Edward moving on made my heart clench in my chest. I couldn't picture him with anybody but me. I sighed.

"I know Alice, I know. I just…it's hard, you know? Jacob's the first guy I've seriously dated since Edward and I split up, and I guess I'm just having trouble adjusting to the differences." My voice was weak; I was suddenly exhausted.

"Yeah, I know. Listen, you sound tired, so I'm going to let you go, but only if you promise not to think about him anymore."

"No promises Ali, but I'll try."

"Good enough for me. I'll call you in the morning to see how you're feeling." I smiled at her concern.

"Thanks Alice. Love you."

"Love you, too."

After hanging up, I cuddled into my pillow, breaking my promise to Alice and returning my thoughts to Edward.

***

_"What were you doing with Mike Newton?" Edward's voice was dangerously low. I rolled my eyes as I pushed past him._

_"I'm not allowed to have lunch with my friends?" I asked him, going to the refrigerator for a bottle of water. Edward grabbed my arm, spinning me around to face him._

_"You know how I feel about him." I jerked my arm out of his grip._

_"I know, Edward, and it's ridiculous. Mike and I have been friends since college. We've always been _just_ friends and we'll always be _just_ friends. You're accusations are completely unfounded and insulting." His eyes narrowed._

_"Unfounded? You don't see the way he looks at you, do you? Like he wants to throw you on the table and fuck you senseless." I snorted in disgust._

_"Really, Edward, do you have to be so crass?"_

_"Don't try to change the subject," he warned. I sighed._

_"I'm not trying to change the subject. I don't understand why you can't see that Mike and I are just friends. I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable, but I'm not going to burn bridges with my friends. You're just going to have to trust me."_

_"Trust you?" He spat, his eyes becoming dangerous slits._ Great,_ I thought to myself. _Here it comes.

_"You ask me to trust you, but you go out with Newton behind my back. I have to find out from Emmett that you were with him. I would trust you, but you constantly lie to me!" That did it. I was in full defensive mode._

_"First of all, I did _not _lie to you! I told you I was having lunch with a friend, and that's exactly what I did. I didn't think to tell you it was Mike because it was _No. Big. Deal._ And Emmett needs to mind his own business instead of getting involved in ours all the time! And speaking of trust, since I have given you _NO_ reason not to trust me, would you mind explaining to me why you don't?"_

_"No reason? I just told you: You deliberately deceived me. And you do it all the time."_

_"What?" I shrieked. "I did not deceive you! I never deceive you! Edward, I know you have trust issues, but this has got to stop!" I always tried to avoid mentioning his past, but I was fed up and not thinking clearly. _

_"You know what? I don't have to stand here and let you lie to me." He began to put his coat on, waiting for me to stop him like I normally did. But I was too angry and too hurt. He walked out the door without another word, slamming it shut behind him as the tears of frustration rolled down my cheeks. There was only one thing to do._

_I dug my cell out of my bag and punched in a number._

_"Hello?"_

_"Alice, it's me."_

***

It was amazing that the memories I had of our relationship were either magnificent or horrendous. There was no in-between with us. We were volatile, passionate, and completely wrong for each other. Yet we were hopelessly in love and always managed to work through our problems. Yes, his trust issues and fondness for throwing jealous fits was a major issue between us, but the love and passion we had for each other more than made up for it.

***

_After I finished bitching to Alice, I decided to get ready for bed. Everything would look better in the morning. I was brushing my teeth, looking out the window at the sudden rainstorm when a figure below my window caught my attention. It was Edward, his expression one of dejection and longing. I stood there for a long moment, studying him, deciding if I really wanted to go out into the storm. In the end, love won._

_I ran as quickly as I could down the steps to the lobby of the building, not even pausing as I barreled through the doors into the rainstorm. He turned when he heard me, raindrops clinging to his hair. I took a step towards him, fury overtaking me._

_"Dammit, Edward! Why do you have to be like this?" I cursed, crossing my arms. He shrugged._

_"Because I'm fucked up. But it doesn't mean I don't love you." He took a tentative step towards me, his hands hanging at his sides in a show of defeat. "Baby, I'm so sorry. You know I don't mean any of the things I say. I just get so crazy at the thought of losing you…" He trailed off, looking at me with wide eyes. I searched them, looking for any sign of the anger I had seem earlier, but it had disappeared, only to be replaced with sadness and apology. _

_"You can't keep doing this," I told him. He nodded._

_"I know. I promise I'll be better. You can hang out with Mike all you want and I won't say a word. I don't deserve you Bella, I know that. I don't want to do anything to lose you." My heart melted at his words, and I closed the distance between us, throwing myself into his arms and kissing him with everything I had. He kissed me back passionately, lifting me off the ground to get closer. I knew I had forgiven him easily, but what could I do? I was hopelessly in love with Edward Cullen. And nothing would change that._

_We stayed in the rain, kissing, until I started to shiver from the cold. Edward wrapped his arm tightly around me and led me inside. "I never should have let you come outside," he admonished himself as we let ourselves into my apartment. _

_"It's fine," I assured him, shivering. He shook his head._

_"No it's not. If I hadn't been such an idiot earlier, you never would have come out into the rain to talk to me." He surveyed my wet appearance. "Let's get you out of those clothes. Come on." He led me to the bathroom, where he turned the shower on full blast and helped my out of my wet clothes. He then undressed himself and helped me into the hot water. I let the water melt the tension in my shoulders as Edward lovingly kissed my forehead. I looked up to meet his gaze before pressing my lips to his. He sighed into my mouth and pressed me gently against the wall, the tile cold against my back. He continued to kiss me tenderly as he hitched my leg up around his waist and pressed his hard cock against my opening._

_"Please, Edward," I whimpered, needing him to be inside me. This was always the case after one of our fights._

_He didn't need to be asked twice. He pushed in gently, gasping in unison with me as we became connected. He pumped in and out slowly, not wanting to rush, and continued to kiss me reverently. I couldn't stand it anymore._

_"Faster, Edward!" I pleaded. He happily obliged. He started to pump in and out faster, harder, his cock slamming against my g-spot as I gasped in pleasure. He pulled out quickly and spun me around so that my hands were on the wall, placing his hands on my hips and slamming into me from behind. The position allowed him deeper access, and I knew it was a favorite of his. _

_"Oh, God, Edward. Don't stop," I gasped, loving the feeling of his rigid cock inside me. My plea only made him go faster, our skin slapping together as the hot water of the shower rained down on my back. I could feel my orgasm coming on, and by the rapidness of his breathing, I guessed Edward was as close as I was._

_"You are so goddamnmed sexy Bella," he moaned as he squeezed my ass, eliciting a matching moan from me. _

_"Edward, I'm…so…close." No sooner had the words left my mouth than my orgasm ripped through me, my walls tightening around Edward. It must have spurred his own orgasm, because I felt him plunge deep and still his movements. I was breathing hard against the wall as he placed a gentle kiss on my back, pulling out of me slowly and holding me against him. _

_"Let's go to bed," he whispered, turning off the water and grabbing a towel. He dried me off and helped me slip in my robe before drying himself off, then swept me and up and carried me to bed. He tucked me in before climbing in himself, cuddling me to his chest as I sighed in contentment._

_"I love you Bella. Don't ever doubt that."_

_"I never do. I love you too, Edward."_

***

God it hurt to think about him. It felt as if part of me was missing with him gone. After two years the pain had still not gone away. I dreaded to think that I feel like this for the rest of my life.

While my life was blissfully drama free without Edward's presence, it was also boring and empty. My world had revolved around Edward.

I sighed and turned onto my side, willing the memories to go away.

***

_"I can't take it anymore!" I screeched, hands fisted at my sides. Two months after our last argument about Mike and Edward's subsequent promise to let it go, he brought it back up again. This time he was accusing me of cheating on him with Mike. With no proof._

_"Can't take what? Cheating on me?" I muffled a scream by placing a pillow in front of my face._

_"What the hell is wrong with you? For the last time. I. Am. Not. Cheating. On. You. I haven't even seen Mike in a month!"_

_"That's not what Tanya said. She said she saw you two yesterday-"_

_"Fuck Tanya!" I screamed, so loudly Edward stepped back in surprise. "She's trying to ruin our relationship because she wants to fuck you! Honestly, Edward, you accuse _me_ of being blind when it's fucking obvious to everyone but you that Tanya just wants me out of the picture! She's filling your head with doubts about us so we'll break up and she can have you to herself. How can you not see that?" He looked dumbstruck. _

_"You're just trying to change the subject," he accused. I closed my eyes and counted to ten, willing myself not to make any rash decisions. When I opened them and saw his look of condemnation, I knew I wasn't being rash. I sighed, defeated._

_"Edward, I can't do this anymore. I can't fight with you every day about something that isn't even happening. I can't take your jealousy. I can't take your mood swings. I just…can't take it anymore," I said softly, gauging his reaction. He looked nervous._

_"Edward, I think we should break up." There. The words were out. Though it broke my heart to say them, I knew it was for the best. I was exhausted from three years of constant bickering. His eyes widened; he knew I was serious. I would never utter those words if I wasn't._

_"Why?" He whispered, his beautiful eyes filling with tears I had only seen once before. They triggered my own, but I was not as good at holding them back._

_"I just told you," I whispered back, the tears flowing freely down my cheeks. _

_"But…I-I love you, Bella. I don't want to be without you." My heart broke further._

_"I love you too, Edward, but sometimes, love is not enough." Though it physically hurt to say those words, I knew they were true. He shook his head violently._

_"No, I won't lose you. I'll change. I'll stop listening to Tanya. I'll be different." I took his face in my hands gently._

_"I don't want you to be different," I told him. "And it's not just Tanya. You were jealous long before you met Tanya. And you won't change. You've promised me before that you would, but you haven't. I just can't keep doing this Edward. I think it's better for both of us if we just stop seeing each other." I choked back the sob that threatened to rip out of my throat at Edward's heartbroken expression. I removed my hands from his face and swiped the tears from my face. Though I was crying, he could see the resolve in my eyes and knew that arguing with me would do no good. He nodded in defeat and went to grab his jacket._

_"I'll always love you, Bella," he said as he went to the door, opening it slowly and looking back at me. "I hope you get everything you've ever wanted in life." With that said, he walked out and closed the door gently behind him, leaving me to pick up the pieces of my broken heart._

***

I felt tears sting my eyes as I remembered that night two years ago. Letting him go was simultaneously the smartest and dumbest thing I had ever done. But at the time, it had been the right thing to do.

I jumped as my phone vibrated again. I reached for it and flipped it open, seeing I had a text message from Jacob.

_I had a wonderful time tonight. Good night, sweet one. _

I smiled sadly, flipping my phone closed, and returned to my painful memories.


	2. Perfume and Promises

Wow, so this story did better than I expected. What started off as a one-shot quickly became a story, due to the amount of reviews and PMs I got asking me to make it into one.

This chapter was difficult for me to write. I'm not sure if it's because it's from Edward's POV and I'm trying to think like a guy, or if I'm trying to make Edward simultaneously like able and un-like able, but I rewrote it three different times before I finally got something I liked. Did I achieve my goal?

Also, a shameless plug for my other story, _Until Worlds Disappear_. Please check it out!

PS. Sorry if you got multiple e-mails about this chapter being posted. FFn was acting very strange this evening...

* * *

_Stay for another morning_

_Study the curves on my face_

_Stay even when we're unknowing_

_Stay 'til they tear you away_

_I don't wanna leave you with perfume and promises_

_But we'll never know 'til we capture and bottle it_

'_Cause wouldn't it be such a shame_

_If all was wasted?_

_-"Perfume and Promises," Idina Menzel

* * *

_

I stared blankly at the blonde across the table from me. _You have got to be kidding me._

"So I was all, like, 'what do you mean I have to wear shorts over the bikini bottom?' And he's like, 'Well, you have some cellulite on your ass that we need to cover.' So I told him to find another model because I refuse to be disrespected, and he told me that I was in breech of my, like, contract. So I told him to go fuck himself and enjoy his talk with my lawyer." Supermodel Jessica Stanley sat back proudly in her chair, crossing her long legs in triumph. How can she be so gorgeous yet so empty-headed?

We were on our first date, and it looked as if it would be our last, too. Of course I would go back to her place and fuck her, because that's what I did, but I didn't think I could take another dinner listening to her absent-minded babble. Funny, but when I met her yesterday, she seemed much more astute.

We had met on an elevator in my building. I was running late for work and she was running late for a meeting with her publicist. We chatted as the elevator made its way to the 35th floor, where my law firm shared the floor with Weber Publicity. By the time we reached the floor, I had her number and a date.

I half-listened through the rest of dinner, nodding when appropriate, never adding my opinion or asking questions. Jessica didn't seem to mind. She was content talking about herself and "stellar" career, as she put it. When the check came, she looked at me expectantly as I pulled my credit card from my wallet and handed it to the waiter. I knew that look. I grinned back at her, praying that the smile reached my eyes, and silently thanked God for the end to her mindless chatter.

We exited the restaurant, making our way to the car I took out only on special occasions. Though I could afford the exorbitant parking expenses that the New York parking garages demanded, I much preferred to ride the subway, where I could people watch and pray that I would one day run into _her_.

I cursed myself silently as I opened the door for Jessica. _Stop thinking about her! _I always sabotaged myself by thinking about The One That Got Away, as my best friend Emmett called her. I knew he missed having her around, but he didn't know half of the pain I was feeling at her absence. And in the two years we'd been apart, it hadn't lessened.

I pulled my mind away from images of her, focusing instead on Jessica's hand making its way up my leg. I concentrated on getting to her apartment on Bleeker Street without hitting any of the cars that congested the island of Manhattan as her hand found its way to my crotch and began to massage. By the time we had pulled up in front of her building, her hand had worked its way inside my pants was stroking my cock firmly. I groaned as she expertly moved her hand up and down the my length, alternating her rhythm from fast to slow and back again.

As much as I was enjoying it, I didn't want to cum too quickly, so I grabbed her hand and pulled her to me, crushing my lips against her as I zipped up my pants. She eagerly responded, her collagen lips opening to grant my tongue access.

"Let's go inside," I suggested against her lips. She moaned in agreement and pushed the passenger door open, getting out of the car and motioning for me to follow her. We made it to the doorway of her luxury apartment before her lips were back on mine and she was pushing me backward through the door.

_She certainly is eager, isn't she_?

Once we were in the apartment, clothes started to come off at a rapid rate. My shirt hit the floor, followed closely by her skirt. My pants were unzipped by the time her blouse was open and her silicone tits sprang free. Within minutes we were both naked, making our way back to the bedroom and the King-sized bed. We collapsed on the bed with her straddling my lap, my dick already hard from her actions in the car. Wasting no time, she plunged herself onto me and grabbed my hands to place on her hips as she rode me.

She kept up her pace for a good 10 minutes before she came, screaming as her orgasm overtook her. Once she was through riding the sensation, she frowned down at me when she realized that not only had I not climaxed, I was also no longer hard.

There was no doubt that Jessica Stanley was gorgeous, but her blond hair and silicone tits were not what I wanted to be seeing. I longed to see a brunette with deep brown eyes and beautiful, natural breasts riding me, love evident in her eyes.

But Jessica was no to be deterred. A wicked smile played on her lips as she climbed off me, settling herself between my legs and taking my dick in her mouth. If I closed my eyes, I could imagine it was Bella.

Allowing myself to think her name brought an onslaught of memories that I pushed into the back of my mind. This was neither the time nor place. But I did remember the way her eyes lit up when she laughed, how perfect she looked in her plaid sweat pants and over-sized t-shirt, her hair in a messy bun and her face clean of make-up.

I felt my dick hardening under the pressure of Jessica's mouth, so I kept my eyes closed and continued with my mental images. Bella's perfect ass facing me as I slammed my dick into her pussy. Bella's perfect breasts bouncing as she rode me. Bella's exuberant expression as she came. It was that thought that undid me, and with a final thrust of my hips, I came in Jessica's mouth, fisting my hands in her hair as she swallowed it all. She looked up at me triumphantly, removing her mouth from my dick and settling into her pillows.

She patted the spot next to her, indicating that she wanted me to lay down. I shook my head, hopping off the bed and searching for my pants. One rule I always followed: Never stay the night.

"Sorry babe, but I have an early day tomorrow." She pouted as I pulled on my pants and shirt, widening her blue eyes and giving me the "sad puppy" face. It was a futile effort; there was no way in Hell I was staying. After slipping on my shoes, I walked to where Jessica lay, kissing her forehead lightly. "I'll call you," I promised, knowing that I never would. She sighed and waved me away half-heartedly; she knew a lie when she heard one. I let myself out, walking quickly back to my car. Once I was safely inside, I closed my eyes and let the memories surround me.

***

_I studied my reflection in the mirror critically. It's not that I cared what I looked like, but I knew Emmett's girlfriend Rosalie would chop off my balls and feed them to me for breakfast if I didn't look presentable tonight. I groaned as I adjusted the collar on my shirt. Why did I let myself get talked into these situations?_

_Rosalie's friend Bella had just moved to New York to start school __at NYU, and she wanted to introduce Bella to people in the City. _

_Translation: She wanted to fix Bella up, and since I was recently single, I was the perfect candidate._

_When I asked for specifics on Bella, Rosalie wouldn't give me much. She just said that she was 21 and a journalism major. That was it. Nothing about her appearance or personality. I was going in blind._

"_Bro, let's go!" Emmett appeared at my door, looking every inch the frat boy he was in college. At 25, he was a year older than me, and more successful with women that I could ever dream to be. He seemed to have settled down with Rosalie, and though she and I didn't really get along, he seemed happy, so I did my best to be civil to her. _

"_I can't believe I let your girlfriend talk me into this," I complained as I grabbed my wallet, checking to make sure I had my Metro Card before sticking it in my pocket. _

"_Ah, come on, man. You and Lauren broke up months ago. It's time to get back on the saddle, know what I'm saying?" He wiggled his eyebrows at me suggestively. I laughed and followed him out of the apartment. He was right. I desperately needed to get laid. Maybe tonight would be the night for that to happen._

_It took 25 minutes on the subway cross town, but we finally made it to Rosalie's apartment. We knocked, and I heard Rosalie shout from inside._

"_Bella, can you get that?" Seconds later the door swung open to reveal the most beautiful girl I had ever seen._

_Her brown hair was pulled back in a low ponytail that swung when she moved her head. She was dressed casually in jeans and a tank top that clung to her curves. Her brown eyes were wide and smiled warmly._

"_You must be Emmett and Edward. Come in. Rosalie's just finishing getting ready." I snapped my jaw shut as I followed Emmett inside the apartment. He pulled Bella into a hug, causing her to squeal in surprise. _

"_It's nice to meet you, Bella. Rosie's told me so much about you." Bella laughed as she extracted herself from his embrace. _

"_None of it's true, I swear!" Emmett chuckled and waved me forward._

"_The mute here is Edward, my roommate and your date for the evening." I saw a blush creep up Bella's neck, and decided that if possible, she looked even more beautiful._

"_It's nice to meet you Edward," she said shyly, looking at the ground._

"_You too, Bella," I said gruffly, not knowing what else to say. I had never been speechless in the presence of a woman, but hey, there was a first time for everything._

_Rosalie chose that moment to make her entrance, dressed in a short skirt and heels that showed off her long legs. Emmett's jaw dropped at the sight of his girlfriend, and if Bella and I hadn't been standing there, I'm pretty sure they never would have made it out of the apartment. As it was, they made out until Bella cleared her throat uncomfortably, forcing them to untangle themselves from each other. _

"_You guys ready?" Rosalie asked, straightening her shirt. Bella rolled her eyes but didn't answer._

_Throughout dinner, I stole glances at Bella, only to discover that she was doing the same. Our eyes met for a brief second before Bella looked downward, a blush on her cheeks. _

_She was relatively quiet all through dinner, not really contributing to the conversation unless __asked a specific question. _

_After dinner, Rosalie and Emmett wanted to go for drinks, but Bella begged off, saying she had an early morning. _

"_Do you remember how to get back to apartment?" Rosalie asked her, clearly worried that her friend would get lost._

"_I'll take her," I offered, grinning when I saw her eyes light up. Rosalie frowned at me._

"_You're sure?" Her tone was doubtful._

"_Positive. Besides," I added, "I have an early day, too."_

_Emmett gave me a subtle thumbs-up while Rosalie's scowl deepened. _

"_You do anything to hurt her," she threatened in a low voice, "And I will castrate you. Slowly and painfully. Got it?" I nodded, stifling a grin. Rosalie may think she knew me, but as much as I needed to get laid, I had no intention of doing anything like that with Bella tonight. Something about her brought out my protective instincts, and I knew that if some guy did a fuck-and-run with her, I would kill him myself with my bare hands. _

_We left a jubilant Emmett and a doubtful Rosalie and made our way to the subway in silence. _

"_Thank you," Bella said suddenly. I looked at her._

"_You're welcome." She smiled slightly, the small gesture lighting up her face, and I had a hard time taking my eyes off of her. She was truly the most beautiful woman I had ever seen._

_The subway ride was quiet, as was the walk back to Rosalie's apartment. Once there, Bella started to play with her keys, looking like she was debating with herself. She finally looked up at me._

"_Would you like to come in?" She asked shyly. My mind screamed a resounding "yes!" _

"_I would love to, but I probably shouldn't," I said quietly, hoping I wouldn't offend the beautiful creature in front of me. Her face fell._

"_Oh."_

_I scrambled for the words to make her feel better. "It's just that I know you said you have an early day tomorrow, and I do too. And I love your company, so if I come in, I won't want to leave." Her eyes widened at my admission, then lit with understanding._

"_You're right. If you come in, I won't want you to leave, either." She brazenly took a step closer to me. "I had a great time tonight."_

"_I did, too," I said, taking a step closer to her. We looked at each other for a long moment before I dipped my head down to hers, placing a soft kiss on her lips. The I felt the electricity between us down to my toes. From the dazed look on her face, I assumed she felt it, too._

"_Can I call you sometime?" I asked hesitantly, amazed at myself for my behavior. But I knew I didn't want to do anything to scare this angel off, and I was rewarded with a shy smile and a nod of her head. I smiled in response, leaning in to kiss her cheek softly._

"_Good night," I whispered. "I'll call you soon." She nodded as she put her key in the lock and slipped through the door, closing it softly behind her._

***

I groaned at the memory and started my car. I hadn't seen Bella for two years, yet I could still remember every detail of the night we met five years ago. I remembered what she was wearing, the scent of her strawberry shampoo, the constant blushes that crept up her skin. I remembered her skin smelled of fresh flowers.

I drove in a daze back to my apartment on the Upper West Side, parking my car on the street and hurrying through the lobby to my apartment. I threw my keys on the table, then went to the bathroom and turned on the shower, anxious to get back to my memories.

***

_Bella and I had been dating for three months when she found her own apartment. A small studio a few blocks from NYU, the building was run-down, but Bella was so excited about the prospect of having her own_ _place that I couldn't bring myself to say anything. Besides, if I felt she was unsafe, I would just have to spend more time here with her._

_The day she moved was eventful. Though she didn't have much stuff, Rosalie and Emmett insisted on helping, along with Alice, another one of Bella's friends, and Alice's boyfriend Jasper. I liked Alice and Jasper. She was outgoing and full of energy, and when she met me, she hugged me as tightly as her little body would allow._

"_I've heard so much about you!" She exclaimed, unknowingly mirroring Emmett's exact words to Bella months earlier._

"_None of it's true, I swear," I answered, looking at Bella with a teasing glint in my eye. She grinned as she taped up the final box and mouthed something that looked like "smart ass" at me. _

_We loaded everything into the small U-Haul Bella had rented, and she and I hopped in the cab while everyone else made their way to the subway. I knew if we drove fast enough, we would have time alone before everyone else got there._

_We got to her new place in record time, leaving the U-Haul parked on the curb as we went to open the apartment. She had barely gotten the key in the lock before I had my lips on hers. She pushed the door open with her back, her hands winding themselves around my neck. I kicked the door closed and placed a hand on her lower back to gently lower her to the floor. She moaned into my mouth when she felt my erection against her leg, and wiggled her body so that I was situated between her legs. She tore her lips away from mine, using her hand to bring my neck to her level, and pressed soft kisses on my neck, eliciting a shudder of pleasure from me. _

_My hand found its way up her shirt, caressing her breast over the material of her bra. She moaned against my neck, pushing her head back so she could lift the shirt over it. I groaned at the sight of her perfect breasts bound only by the thin, lacy material through which I could see her hardened nipples. I leaned down and took on in my mouth, sucking on it through her bra. She gasped, reaching behind her to unhook it, and her breasts sprang free. I swirled my tongue around the exposed nipple, enjoying the feel of her hands fisted in my hair. _

_She took one hand out of my hair, bringing it to the button on my jeans and deftly undoing it. I kicked the jeans down my legs as she pulled, then flipped us over so she was on top. She smiled wickedly at me before placing hot kisses down my stomach to my boxers, slipping two fingers under the waistband and pulling them off quickly. My erection sprang free, and it wasn't two seconds before Bella's hand was on it, stroking softly up and down._

_She looked at me with hooded eyes, lowering her head and touching her tip of her tongue to my head. I gasped at the contact, her tongue tracing little circles around it. I ran my fingers down her cheekbone, enjoying the feel of her soft skin under my hand. She sighed in contentment, then lowered her head further, taking the whole of me into her mouth slowly. _

_I placed my hands on top of her head gently, encouraging her to go on, and she quickened her pace, alternating licking and sucking, and then__ Holy shit! _

_Was that her teeth? _

_I jumped at the sudden friction but kept my hands on top of her head firmly. She grazed again with her teeth, lightly, and I felt my cock twitch in her mouth. I knew I was close, but I didn't want to cum without giving her pleasure as well. Besides, who knew how much time we had before the others barged in on us?_

_I lightly probed her head up, pulling her to me and crushing my lips to her, hoping to answer the unasked question in her eyes. She put one leg on either side of my hips so that she was straddling me, and slowly slid down onto me. We gasped in unison at __the feeling of being connected._

_She started slowly, moving back and forth lazily while my hand tangled in her hair. When I bucked my hips up to meet her, she took it as a sign to go faster. I would lift my pelvis to meet her every time she came down, and my cock would disappear deep into her. _

"_Edward," she moaned, and the sound of my name coming from those pouty lips almost undid me._

"_Bella," I grunted, hoping her name on my lips had the same effect. _

_It did._

_She sped up her movements, bouncing up and down on my cock as she rode me with sheer abandonment, both of us lost in the pleasure of it all. My cock started to twitch inside of her, and I knew I couldn't last much longer when I heard her breathing start to come in rapid bursts. _

"_Oh, God! Edward!"__ She shouted as her walls closed around me, triggering my own orgasm. We lay there for several moments, catching out breath, when we heard voices in the hallway. Bella jumped off me and scrambled to get her clothes, disappearing into the bathroom and slamming the door. I had just gotten my jeans buttoned when the door was thrown open to reveal our friends standing on the other side. They looked at me questioningly, and when I shrugged, Alice just rolled her eyes and Emmett flashed me a grin._

***

I felt the sadness course through me as I thought back to that day. We had all had so much fun, unpacking and arranging Bella's possessions. We had laughed and teased, going out for pizza and beer after everything was finished. After dinner, Bella and I had gone back to the apartment and christened every available surface…

I tore my mind from the memory, not wanting to have to deal with another painful erection, and turned off the shower. Drying myself with a towel, I checked my cell phone, only to see a text message from Emmett.

_How was the date with the Silicone Supermodel?_

I grinned at Emmett's nickname for Jessica, and hit "reply."

_Fine. She's not very good in bed._

Since I knew that's what Emmett wanted to know, I decided to waste no time in divulging the information. My phone buzzed as another text came in.

_Fuck man. That sucks. You'd think with those tits and that body, she'd have fucked enough guys to be a decent lay._

I rolled my eyes at his Emmett-ness and put the phone down, pulling on my old basketball shorts to sleep in. I settled into bed, willing myself not to remember anything else, and let the blackness surround me.


End file.
